How NOT To Survive School

Being able to survive school is a qualification in itself, one I do not yet have. Today I want to share with you everything you shouldn't do in school for no particular reason. I forgot that Dan did this in one of his videos so I genuinely didn't copy.

1) Always answer back to teachers and older pupils. They really value your opinion when you talk out of line and it's a great way to get yourself heard. 

2) Never be polite in the corridors. No one likes people with manners so don't use them! Everyone would much rather you push and shove others out of your path and it's a lot easier for you.

3) The toilets are 100% hygienic so it's safe to use the door handles and soaps without fear of contracting disease or infection.

4) Apply several bottles of fake tan. The corridors can be very dark so its good to be fluorescent. And as a bonus, you get to look like an orange! Everyone loves orange! 

5) Running and knee sliding down the corridors is highly recommended. The corridors are multi purpose so use them to their full potential! 

6) Teachers are constantly playing a big game of Opposite Day and secretly, if you do the opposite of what they say, you'll be rewarded with a slip of paper that will read "detention". 

7) Try not to make friends. If you do happen to accidentally gain friends then they love it when you're mean to them. I'm in my fourth year and I have found a best friend by following this step; the Internet. 

8) A good way to meet new people is to sniff them like a dog. This shows that you're a strange being and that people probably shouldn't mix with you. ( this step assists step 7).

9) Leave all of your work to the last minute or don't do it at all. It's obviously not compulsory so there isn't much point in doing it.

10) Just don't go to school.

So there you have it my ten top tips on how not to survive school. If you're short of a brain cell I'd like to assure you that the vast majority of this post is sarcasm so please don't take it seriously. Wow that sounds patronising. 

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